Applying Yamas into your relationship- Ahimsa (Harmlessness)

"Yama can be taken to have different meanings, in different contexts. It may mean "to rein, curb, or bridle, discipline or restrain" In the present context, it is used to mean "self-control, forbearance, or any great rule or duty". Yama can also be interpreted as "attitude" or "behavior". Certainly a particular attitude can be expressed as discipline, which then influences our behavior. Patanjali's Yoga Sutra mentions five different Yama i.e. behavior patterns or relationships, between the individual and the outside world" 
This is short introduction what Yamas are. I kind of wanted to write about Yamas, because they are the first of eight limbs of Ashtanga Yoga, that I particularly practice for the last 3 years. Even though I was learning through religion about the same rules, I really loved Patanjali's approach to how to treat the others. It's not some threat do not steal, do not cheat, do not lie, instead Patanjali says: "Ok, go ahead and do that, but you will not hurt anyone else but yourself". So true. 
As I mentioned above there are 5 Yamas, and look how treating other is so important that Patanjali put Yamas before Niyamas, or the way we should treat ourselves, and then when you think about it it really makes sense. I mean, how else would you be happy unless you avoid all those things that make us suffer? And we were all born good persons, pure souls, and of course that by hurting others we hurt ourselves, for that matter treat others well and you'll be treated the same way. 
Each class I try to talk to my students about Yamas in hope that when they leave the class they will really think about their actions and how they can apply Yamas in their every day life. 
First Yama of all is Ahimsa.The word 'ahimsa' literally means not to injure or show cruelty to any creature or any person, in any way whatsoever. Ahimsa is, however, more than just lack of violence, as adapted in yoga. It means kindness, friendliness, and thoughtful consideration of other people and things. It has to do with our duties and responsibilities too. Ahimsa implies that in every situation, we should adopt a considerate attitude. I like to encourage my students to apply Ahimsa, especially living in Sarajevo, where there is a lot of help needed. Well basically anywhere in the world there is help needed. But I like to encourage them that when they see these animals on streets to not just walk away, or look at them but at least if they can to feed them. That's at least they can do. Or YOU. We can do a lot individually but if each person does its part, we can at least do our job, and show our compassion toward the others, and that's all what Ahimsa is about.  How can you apply Ahimsa in  your relationships? Try to do this first at your home. Being more understandable to people you live with, then the person you are in love with, then with your friends then with the others around you. Maybe you are living with the people who are totally different than you, they have different way of thinking than you do, different interests, but instead of arguing with them just try to be more compassionate. Think about your parents. Especially if they're older, be considerate with the way you talk to them. I'm not saying I am perfect here, let's be honest.. there will be moments when sometimes something will pull you out of your shoes but as long as you're aware of the fact that you're trying to be better person, to understand other more, to be compassionate you are on the right track. And you will see how one thing you do, one good thing daily you do for the others, smiling at others, you wouldn't even think that maybe your smile is just what someone needs today, feeding one animal on a street, maybe helping older person to cross the street, or giving a hug to the person you love. These small things change our world, and theirs too. 
So I also know that I work every day on myself, I am always a beginner, I always learn something new, but on this journey I want to share what I've learned so far with my students and with the people I don't even know, hoping that Ahimsa and our awareness of it will help in our relationships and every day life.

When you start feeling that we are all the one, we all feel each others happiness and each others pain, you will know that you will not be able to hurt anyone in any way without hurting yourself, You will feel when some animal is outside in cold, that you feel their pain, their hunger.. You will feel how it is to be left alone to beg for someone's help just so you can ask fro basics- for food to survive, and that's when you will know for the first time that you are a human being. That you are alive and one with the whole universe.  Maybe then you even decide to go vegetarian, which is also an example of applying Ahimsa. 
Try also when in a relationship to think always how you want to give more than you want to receive, because by making someone happy you will feel good about yourself. 
There is one thing though when in a relationship. When you apply Ahimsa, and you really think about the other person do not do that just because you are expecting something in return but also make sure that the person you are giving your love to really appreciates it and does not take an advantage of you, because unfortunately if you mentally don't match with the person you are with that thing could happen. 
When I've met my beloved Yogi, he asked me what's more important to me in a relationship: to take or to give. I said to give, which it's the truth. I said that because I know I am applying Ahimsa. I did tell him this though about being used by someone if you really give so much, you will know after some time what happens, are you really giving your love to someone who deserves it. When I asked him: What about you? He told me the same. To give love. And I knew from that moment we are just for each other. 
Unfortunately we live in the world where you may find people who wont think the same way as you do. Who want apply Ahimsa, or Bhakti Yoga, but don't let that discourage you. if you tell to yourself that because of yourself you give love, you're honest, you're not a cheater, you have pure thoughts and pure feelings, believe it that you will attract exactly what you are, and then the real Yoga in your life will blossom.